A few years ago I was invited by our school to a parent information night. The topic was teaching children about their body and specifically it was to inform parents about how the subject would be taught at school.  Some parents got pretty upset thinking it was about teaching children about sex and that wasn’t the topic at all, rather it was how to teach children about their body in an age appropriate way.

I’ve always been super open with my kids and made a point of teaching them about their body early on.  When the girls started asking questions or seemed curious I piped in with facts. The last thing I wanted was for them to learn about their body from the school playground or from an overly friendly classmate (as I did).  I wanted to be the source of the info and also be able to pass along my values to them so when something came up they were prepared.  The talk at the school helped me understand the best way to inform them at each development stage in their lives so that I continue to be the source of information they can rely on for the subject.

Helping parents understand the risk

The speaker that night gave us some surprising facts from author Meg Hickling, a registered nurse, sexual health educator and author. In Ms. Hickling’s book, Speaking of Sex, the speaker referenced some compelling reasons supporting why we should be open and honest with our kids.  Not only is it a good idea to establish yourself as the source of the information to your children and establish values on the subject, but by informing your children you lower their risk to be victimized.

Meg Hickling interviewed pedophiles to find out how they choose their targets.  Her subjects were quite open in how they choose children noting that they prefer children who don’t know the proper name for body parts because it is a good indication that the parents of these children don’t speak openly about the subject. Using cute names for reproductive organs is a clue to pedophiles that this child has parents who don’t talk openly about the body. To a pedophiles children who don’t know or use cutesy names for body parts are a good target.

Teaching children about their body parts is important

If a child knows the scientific name for their body parts and reproductive organs the pedophiles believes the child comes from a family where things are openly discussed and this child is less likely to hide a secret from their parent. It’s pretty eye opening information and shows first hand that education is the best way to protect kids.

This information is why schools begin early educating students about their bodies.  Helping children identify their body parts with proper names allows them to explain to a trusted adult what is happening.

Age appropriate information about body parts

A year or so after this talk I had the fortune of attending a talk that Meg Hickling held for kids.  She spoke to the kids as well as parents in the audience and she spoke from her book Boys, Girls & Body Science: A First Book About Facts of Life. This book offers a great way to talk about the body in an age appropriate way by letting the children act as body scientists.  I highly recommend the book as an addition to your home library, it’s easy enough for kids to read themselves and also has appropriate illustrations they can explore.  The book gives excellent opportunities for an open conversation with your kids about their body and those of the opposite sex.

Over the years I’ve kept the communication open with my children and it makes it easier as they get older.  When the school holds their annual “talk” with the kids I make sure I’m right there to answer questions and explain what’s going on with their bodies and use that time as an extra reminder to myself to evolve the discussion each year.

Further reading and research:

Podcast of Meg Hickling talking about body science featured on RealParenting.ca

Information on ordering books in Canada: Boys, Girls & Body Science: A First Book About Facts of Life and in the US: Boys, Girls & Body Science: A First Book about Facts of Life

Other great books from Meg Hickling:
In Canada:The New Speaking of Sex: What Your Children Need to Know and When They Need to Know It.
In the US:The New Speaking of Sex: What Your Children Need to Know and When They Need to Know It.

Dr. Phil’s advice on protecting your children from internet pedophiles.

Talking with kids about tough issues is a good article from ChildrenNow.org.