I’ve just picked up our pink shirts from PinkShirtDay.ca in support of the upcoming Anti-Bullying Week. It features a great drawing by Chairman Ting designs showing the power in standing up collectively against bullying. This year we see even more the strength of coming together as a society to talk about a serious subject that affects many families.

We’ve heard the stories in school about kids bullying kids but there are other types of bullying  happening at home or in the classroom that aren’t highlighted as much.

Teasing by a parent or teacher.

Is teasing from an adult like a parent or teacher a form of bullying? Interesting, right?

Can what seems like a friendly jab or teasing from a parent or teacher be bullying? Is there such a thing as “nice” teasing?  Is there a line between teasing and bullying?  Does teasing kids teach them that it is OK to tease others?

We don’t, as a rule tease, in our house. When the kids were super young we put a tremendous effort into having them work together, share, and be supportive of each other so teasing wasn’t part of that equation. We’ve experienced teasing from family members and the kids were always put off by the behavior of adults who teased people around them.

I was teased as a kid and it didn’t make me feel good about myself or the person teasing me. Did it “toughen me up”? Maybe? I can’t really say. But I’m sure I teased others because of it, which looking back wasn’t a great characteristic that I can say I was proud of and not one I want my kids to have.

I asked a few adults and kids their opinion on the subject and hands down the kids thought teasing from adults, parent or teacher, was a form of bullying.  Adults have power over kids and if they use their position as parent or teacher to influence a child or their behavior, then words carry a lot more value. Do we really need to “toughen up” kids? I think there are better ways to teach coping skills than to knock someone down.

In an ideal world adults who interact with kids do so in a respectful and supportive way. I realize we are all human and sometime we don’t realize how powerful our words and tone can be when heard by kids, but overall it would be great to see more adults checking themselves as they talk to kids.

In speaking to adults there were some interesting reflections on their experience.  Some felt that teasing at home in a safe environment could teach valuable life skills.  It depended on the child since some highly empathic children could get very upset even in a safe environment like the home.  What do you think?

Books on bullying for parents and kids

What the experts say about teasing

According to StopBullying.gov teasing is a form a bullying and they offer solutions to stop it at school.  If we’re stopping this behavior at school common sense may say stop it at home as well.  Can a child be comfortable explaining to a parent that teasing is hurtful if their parents does it as well?  Keeping communication open with your child will help them come to you when they need help to work through issues – this becomes harder for a child if you are part of the problem.

In the article by Scholatic “Bullying and Teasing: No Laughing Matter” they cover off the tell tale signs of how teasing can be bulling at school and warning signs parents can look for and group teasing into the bullying bucket.

More and more experts group teasing into the definition of bullying. It seems to warrant a discussion on where the line is drawn. No teasing at all? or OK at home in a safe setting?

For a personal look into our story on overcoming bullying and advice for parents check out my earlier post: Bullying: RealKid Advice to Parents

What do you think? Is teasing by a parent or teacher a form of bullying? Let me know what you think in the comments area below.